FIND YOUR STRENGTHS AND VIRTUES

Stop thinking about what is wrong with you, and figure out what is right!

In graduate school for Creative Arts Therapy, I spent a lot of time thinking about what was “wrong” with me. And others. In fact, I spent a lot of time thinking about what was wrong with EVERYBODY. In school, we were taught to diagnosis disorders, see problems, observe flaws, and make suggestions for how to improve behavior, mood, negative thinking, etc. It made sense. We were there to learn how to make the sick WELL.

After brutalizing semesters learning of ruminative Freudian-era women who were considered neurotic, hysterical, and abnormal, I was desperate for a refresh. If everyone we encountered in our books, internships, and practice exams were so hopeless, then what was the point of even trying to help?

But luckily, right when I was burnt out and on the brink of despair, a woman came to talk to our class about something called “Positive Psychology”. Well, I had never heard of anything like that before, but it sounded nice. She gave us all homework - a quiz to take online that would determine our “top 5 character strengths and virtues”; there were 24 in total.

The next day, I brought in my paper with my top 5 strengths: humor, curiosity, love, hope, and kindness. Wow. That made me sound pretty incredible—was I always this awesome?? (oh, my weakest strength was “humility” if you haven’t already guessed). Instead of feeling like a lunatic monster dealing with crippling anxiety, fear of public speaking, and perfectionism, I all of a sudden was….kinda cool?? Kind of worth it? Kind of “enough”?

Ever since that day, I’ve loved Positive Psychology. Even now, in my private practice, I make it a point to focus on the strengths of my clients. Not just point them out, but build on them as well. Yes, we can focus on correcting negative behaviors or thought processes, but we can also take a moment to be like “wow, I’m kinda cool! I’m kind of good. And I’m kind of bad-ass.” (unless your top strength is humility and then you are probably more like, “yeah, I guess I am kind of a good person.”)

Find out how cool you are by clicking the link below and taking the quiz. There is one for adults, but also one for youth, ages 10-17. Bask in your strengths—you’re allowed! (unless humility’s in your top 5).